Veggie Vamp
by Leaf-Fae
Summary: Her eyes widened. "I don't think you understand what 'vegetarian' means. No way am I drinking some poor defenseless animal's blood. Someone go find me a carrot; I'm doing this Bunnicula style."


**Hey everyone! I have a couple of disclaimers for you. I don't own Twilight or Bunnicula. Some Cullen bashing may occur. OOCness ahead. Plot will be disregarded in favor of humor. I think that's about it.**

"Hey guys look what I found!" the ever exuberant Alice shouted. "It was writhing in pain in the forest! What do you think it is?"

"It looks like a changing vampire!" Emmett exclaimed as he examined the slightly dirty figure that Alice was dragging behind her. "Wow, that's worth two hundred and fifty points! How come you always do so well on our scavenger hunts?"

Rosalie snorted, albeit in a very ladylike and graceful manner. "She looks ahead to see the stuff that she's going to find and then makes sure that it goes on the list. That's why you have to get things she can't see, like this!" The beautiful blond proudly held up a limp Sam. "One hundred and fifty for me, and that's only one of my things. I have plenty more!"

"I found Bella's diary!" Emmett broke in. "It's not that exciting though; the whole thing is about Edward's eyes."

Jasper was smug. They all thought that they had done great, but wait until they saw what he had; three different kinds of caterpillars, some pretty green beach glass, and a really cool mushroom. It was purple and pretty darn awesome.

"Oooh, I think my vampire is coming out of its cocoon! It's about to become a beautiful butterfly!" Alice cried. When everyone gave her strange looks she pouted. "I meant a metaphorical butterfly. I know it's not going to really sprout wings or anything."

"Let's take it to Carlisle." Rosalie suggested, and Alice grabbed her new vampire's hand and they all skipped merrily to the living room. They passed Edward and Bella, who were sitting on the couch starring into each other's eyes, and Renesme watching TV while Jacob did her homework, and finally they all piled into Carlisle's study.

"Hello," he greeted them without looking up from the paper work he was tearing through faster than Tsundae could ever dream of. "What can I help you with?"

"Alice found a changing vampire on our scavenger hunt," Emmett announced, as Alice proudly held up the bedraggled specimen. "And it's about to change into a metaphorical butterfly."

Living in a house full of vampires and their various quirks, Carlisle was used to strange statements and paid them no mind. Instead he took the time to examine the new vamp. As luck (and plot devices) would have it, her eyes opened that exact moment. Carlisle gasped in surprise. Not only were they already gold, but they were also speckled with flecks of green.

"Would anyone care to explain what on earth is going on?" she asked with a voice that was as perfect and beautiful as bells. "And what's up with my voice?" The mysterious girl banged on her chest and coughed. "Ah, that's better," she breathed. Her voice had deepened slightly and relaxed.

"Now, you have just undergone a mysterious and wonderful change. You have gone from mortal to vampire. This may be strange and confusing, but I assure you that my family and I will be here to help you along the way. First though, I'm sure that you're feeling very…thirsty. You may be worried about what this means, but don't worry, you don't need to drink human blood. In our family we consider ourselves to be 'vegetarians.' We only drink animal blood."

"_Excuse me?" _shrieked the new vampire, "But that is not what vegetarian means! I would know, I've been a vegan my whole life. Never tasted blood, and I'm not about to start now. No way."

Carlisle stared, at a loss. This was a complication he was not expecting, though it probably did explain the color of her eyes. "Look, I can understand how this might be awkward for you, but it is, unfortunately, necessary. The burning sensation in your throat will not subside until you do, and you may lose control and drink the blood of people. Surely this is the lesser of two evils?"

The new vampire was livid. "So now you're going to just rationalize it? Just because you can't stand a little discomfort? My throat's not burning; it's barely parched! Nothing a glass of water or some fruit juice won't fix. I refuse to prey on some poor defenseless animals over that!"

Carlisle was conflicted. He hated to force something like this on her, but a thirsty newborn vampire was a danger to herself and others. Even if she claimed that she wasn't thirsty… "Hey Edward!" Carlisle called to his youngest son, "Can you come up here for a moment?" Almost immediately he appeared in the doorway.

"Yes?"

"Edward this is… excuses me, what _is _your name?"

"Rain." _Figures, _Carlisle thought to himself (and Edward.) _She _would_ have one of those hippie names._

"This is Rain. She's a newborn, but she says that she's not thirsty. Can you confirm this?"

"She's not thirsty. At least not in a vampire sense. Maybe in a human sort of way. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go stare into Bella's eyes some more."

"Yeah, what he said," Rain added to Carlisle who still looked doubtful. "Now someone go find me a carrot; I'm doing this Bunnicula style."

"Who's Bunnicula?" Alice asked, after dashing off faster than a speeding bullet and returning with a carrot which she tossed to Rain.

The newborn eyed it thoughtfully before leaning over with two razor sharp fangs. She bit into it and sucked. Slowly the carrot was drained of its color and soon only the pale shriveled corpse of a vegetable behind.

"Bunnicula is awesomeness incarnate; he's this cute little vampire bunny who sucks the juice out of veggies!"

"Ha," scoffed Emmett, "We're way better vampires than that! We're all macho and strong and stuff."

"Well, the sparkling, that's not so macho." Jasper noted quietly.

Carlisle had thought the newborn was taking the whole 'Guess what? You're a vampire now!' thing very well, besides her obvious aversion to drinking any kind of blood, but that changed when he saw her face.

"You SPARKLE?" Rain's eyes nearly popped out of her head. _Why couldn't I have turned into a vampire bunny instead?_ she questioned desperately. Fluffy cuteness seemed so much tougher.

**I hoped you liked it, even though the idea was so much funnier in my head. Rain doesn't Mary Sueish, does she? I may add on to this with some vaguely related one shots in which Rain lives with the Cullens, and finds other faults with their lifestyle, if inspired. **

**Reviews are nice. I like honest opinions and constructive criticism best. :)**


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